Gabe Downey – Medium

Gabe Downey
in
Humor Darling

Humor Darling Exclusive: Catching Up With Siegfried and Roy’s Tiger, Mantacore, 20 Years After the…

It’s been almost 20 years since the news broke about the carnage that took place center stage at Siegfried & Roy at the Mirage Resort and…

2 min readAug 15, 2022

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Humor Darling Exclusive: Catching Up With Siegfried and Roy’s Tiger, Mantacore, 20 Years After the…

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Gabe Downey
in
Humor Darling

Fraud? New Report Confirms Noted ‘Einstein’ Albert Einstein Didn’t Even Know HTML

MANHATTAN (PROJECT) — In a shocking revelation sure to rock the world of academia, Theory of Relativity author and noted intellectual…

2 min readMay 17, 2022

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Fraud? New Report Confirms Noted ‘Einstein’ Albert Einstein Didn’t Even Know HTML

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Gabe Downey

Anxious

Too often I feel like a clip-winged butterfly destined for the ground

1 min readApr 26, 2022

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Anxious

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Gabe Downey

With You in Sight, The Lost are Found

Remembering Levon Helm

3 min readApr 19, 2022

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With You in Sight, The Lost are Found

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Gabe Downey
in
Humor Darling

I Am an Appraiser on ‘Antiques Roadshow,’ and Your Original Copy of the US Constitution Is Now…

Dear Mr. Portnoy,

2 min readDec 2, 2021

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I Am an Appraiser on ‘Antiques Roadshow,’ and Your Original Copy of the US Constitution Is Now…

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Gabe Downey
in
Open Letters To

An Open Letter to Eric Clapton on the Demise of his Career

Who the hell is your publicist?

3 min readOct 7, 2021

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An Open Letter to Eric Clapton on the Demise of his Career

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Gabe Downey
in
Frazzled

I Am a Trader Joe’s Kiddie Cart and I’m Begging You to Put Me Out of My Misery

If the squeaky wheel always gets the grease, it looks like I have four greases coming my way

2 min readAug 23, 2021

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I Am a Trader Joe’s Kiddie Cart and I’m Begging You to Put Me Out of My Misery

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Gabe Downey
in
Humor Darling

Typical Job Ad in 2021

Seeking a ROCK STAR candidate who knows how to PLAY HARD but HAVE FUN and isn’t yet SUICIDAL because it’s ALL POINTLESS!

2 min readJul 26, 2021

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Typical Job Ad in 2021

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Gabe Downey
in
Open Letters To

An Open Letter to the Youtube User Who Shared a Bizarrely Personal Anecdote About His Departed Wife…

Dear SnotTheHoople268,

2 min readJul 25, 2021

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An Open Letter to the Youtube User Who Shared a Bizarrely Personal Anecdote About His Departed Wife…

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Gabe Downey
in
Frazzled

An Open Letter to Hand, Foot, and Mouth Disease

I still hate you but thank you for being so aptly named

2 min readJul 19, 2021

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An Open Letter to Hand, Foot, and Mouth Disease

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Gabe Downey

Gabe Downey

I’m Gabe Downey from Detroit, Michigan. My writing has been published several times in the New York TImes, the Detroit Free Press, and on my parent’s fridge.

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